Tag: Work

Meetings Are Not Your Stage

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Did you know the office staff meeting is not your place to shine?

99.9% of people attending meetings are ready to leave as soon as they get there. If you find yourself speaking on a topic for longer than a minute to two minutes, you have exceeded the patience of 99.9% people in the room.

If you need to talk to someone for longer than 1-2 minutes, try talking to your pet or your spouse.

I often wonder if some of the office stars have anyone to talk to at home? Is this the only place they get to converse with adults?

Meetings are to provide need-to-know information. The office staff does not need your opinion on everything from hairstyles to tampons during the staff meeting.

The Office Cry Baby

 

 

 

Millennial Expert

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I love the millennial generation and generation Z. I really do! They are full of energy, fun, and bright ideas. We all love it!

What we don’t like is how they come out of the womb thinking they are experts. This is not how life works. I have lived a long time and I am still not an expert on some things and neither are you.

Just because your mom thinks you are great, doesn’t really mean you totally are and that you truly know everything there is to know in the world.  See The “You Are Special Disclaimer”

Can the next generation learn to value life experience and actually do some activities to become an expert before assuming the role?

Don’t tell people how to live, vote, and make life choices when you have only read a few books, are barely out of diapers and have not registered yourself for college courses and/or made your own doctor appointments.

I know an older gentleman (age 40) who owns a coffee shop and I honestly don’t know how he kept the doors open until he hired the new generation to tell him how to run the place. God knows they have plastered their opinions of his management style all over social media.

Never mind that while he is away, they can’t make change from the register without putting 2 heads together, the creamery is always empty, and the music is at concert level rather than coffee shop level. Not to mention, they generally act like they are doing me a huge favor by showing up to take my order. The “just rolled out of bed” look is the new “professional attire” look.

I think the poor man deserves a medal of honor for trying to mentor the new generation rather than sending their expert behinds out with the trash.

Daily Prompt

The Office Cry Baby

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Photo: http://www.pexels.com

I would like to travel in a time machine to the 1940s and 1950s to get a real picture of office life.

I know there were no copy machines or Keurigs, but were there as many cry babies? Did people know the difference between office and home?

As a woman, I have recognized a huge component which may have been left out of the feminist movement: Office Education for Women

The same women who paint the picture of being 9-5 superwomen, will often quiver chin in meetings and cry in the bathroom or in front of you over the most stupid issues.

There are many women currently in the workforce with the inability to differentiate between work and home. This can manifest itself by talking to their coworkers like they are children, acting like they are the office mother, and crying if they get their feelings hurt (picture your mom after a really bad rumble with the kiddos).

There is not one person in the world who does not have a bad day, but dear God, let’s man up. Embrace the following concepts to enhance the workflow:

  • You did not birth anyone or anything here
  • You are not married to anyone here
  • You do not live here
  • You do not own this place

Embracing these office concepts should make it easier to avoid crying in the bathroom when your coworkers tell you to be at meetings on time, please do not interrupt them, and to stop rearranging things in their office space, and any other office issue which may arise.

Working through these common sense principles will also help you manage change in your place of business.  Think about it, do you go in any business that looks and operates exactly like it did 25 years ago? Hell No.

Quit arguing and crying about change in the workplace. This is common sense.

 

 

Office Cartwheels

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Photo: http://www.pexels.com

I don’t usually consider myself a jealous person, but lately I find myself becoming increasingly envious of the office space others may have in my building.

I am thinking some of my coworkers may have enough space in their office to do cartwheels, or perhaps they have installed one of those tornado simulators in their office spaces.

The reason I have come to this conclusion is for each and every scheduled obligation they come in disheveled, papers askew, winded, and looking as if they have been turned upside down.

One might think this is because they are engaged in an intense project or they have been holed up answering emails or in meetings with fellow colleagues, but….unfortunately…no. I know this because they haven’t answered an email or met a deadline in a month.

They have, in fact, been inside their tornado simulator and/or doing cartwheels.

As the Queen of Common Sense  here is best approach to handle the Office Cartwheeler.

  1. Try your best to avoid giving them any real responsibilities. Face it, they have adult ADHD and it’s just too much trouble.
  2. If you are in charge of a meeting in which you are expecting the Office Cartwheeler (we will call her “Carol”), here are some tips.
    1. Wait one minute for Carol and then begin.
    2. When  Carol comes in, do not let her interrupt, just yell over her, and continue on with the agenda. We do not have time to hear about the cartwheels and /or the tornado simulation. We really do have other shit to do and we want to go home at a normal time.
    3. Stick to the agenda. Remember Carol does not care about agendas. She cares about cartwheels and tornado simulations. Carol occasionally can pop up with a good idea, but unfortunately her lack of follow-through usually nulls this idea and causes the rest of us more work.

Now, I know the Office Preacher (post to follow later) will excuse the Office Cartwheeler by saying things like: “Carol is a really creative thinker and a free spirit.” There are times when the Office Preacher just needs to pray in silence and this would be one of the times for this person to engage that skill. Praise Jesus!

 

The “You Are Special Disclaimer”

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Photo: pixabay.com

Let’s face it, we all think we are pretty special. If you don’t, you may have some self-esteem issues. See a therapist for this or read a self-help book. You should feel like you are special.

Your momma should have told you that you are indeed special. She should have acted like she loved you more than anyone in the world and you should have believed ,at some point in your life, that you were more beautiful, smarter, faster, cooler, more funny, and all around greater than sliced bread.

However, one of the roles of a good momma, is to give their child the “You Are Special Disclaimer”. In a world now lacking common sense, I am finding some people are not being provided the “You Are Special Disclaimer” before being sent out into the world.

Here is the “You Are Special Disclaimer”:

Dear Child,

To me, your parent, you are the most precious creature in the world. No one can hold a candle to you. Even if you wake up tomorrow with horns growing out of your head, I will still marvel at your beauty. I love to listen to your stories about your special interests in macaroni crafts, Emo bands, etc. There is nothing in the world I would rather do.

Unfortunately, dear child, you are not special to the world. The world does not appreciate, nor care, if you are late to class because you are anxious about your crafting project, or that you are allergic to apples. We can’t ask the entire school not to bring apples because only you and a handful of other children who are special to their parents are allergic to apples. The greater good must prevail.

I must share this special disclaimer with you now because as you grow into adulthood, I do not want people to suffer through your neuroses in the workplace where you think you are the only one in existence. So, I must let you know…you are special to me, but you are not special to the world.

Love,

Momma

You may start to notice people in your daily life who did not receive the “You Are Special Disclaimer”. These are the people who check out with a full load of groceries in the express lane, break in line at the movie theater, stand in front of short people at sporting events, show up late to work, and do not answer your emails at work because they are “so busy”.

People who failed to receive the disclaimer may say things like:

  • “I am not going to be in class tomorrow. Will I miss anything important?”
  • “I can’t come in and help with that work project one Saturday a year, because my family needs me.”
  • “When are we leaving for lunch? I get shaky when I don’t eat on time.”

Usually these will be stated in the presence of other, non-special, individuals.

Unfortunately, the “You Are Special Disclaimer” needs to be shared early in life, but not too early. After all, you want a child to feel special, but not be annoying to the world.

 

Group Meetings Are Ineffective

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Photo Source: unsplash.com

I happen to like essential oils and the company I use sells an oil named Common Sense. I have never tried this particular oil as it is always out of stock. Obviously, people think this is something one can purchase in a bottle and diffuse, apply to the body, and/or inhale. It is not.

If Common Sense could truly be diffused, I would definitely diffuse it at the entrance of many businesses, both for the employees and the customers. I have found the workplace to be one of the primary places common sense is in short supply.

One example which comes to mind which is a huge time waster for good employees is meetings. Rarely is there a time when information could not be conveyed via a well written email. Administrators like to have group meetings to share news with employees. Particularly, I think these meetings are to address bad behaviors the supervisor does not want to discuss with problem employees face-to-face.  Most of the time the news is presented with the sandwich cookie method. Good-bad-good.

Example: “Hi guys! Productivity is looking great. Our statistics are really amazing this quarter. Some people have not been answering emails and coming in later. We need to buckle down on this. We appreciate everyone parking in their designated parking spots. Good job with this guys!”

The reason this is ineffective is the people who do not answer emails and come in late, probably did not bother to come in to this meeting either. If these employees did come in to this meeting, the fact this message applied to them, flew directly over their head like a bird.

The only way to remedy a situation like this is to call individual meetings with the slackers and say something like this:

Boss: “I sent you an email 3 business days ago and I did not receive an answer. This really concerns me.”

Employee: “It must have went to junk mail. I didn’t get it.”

Boss: “Hmm…Did you receive receipt of your pay stub last month via email?”

Employee: “Yes.”

Boss: “Those come from the same email address, so I doubt the one I sent 3 days ago went to junk mail, nor the several I have sent before to which you did not answer.”

Employee: Silent

Boss: “I want you to step outside my office and construct a paragraph indicating your plan to correct this problem. We are going to sign it and place it in your employee file so we can have a better understanding of the workflow here and how this impacts myself and your coworkers.”

This common sense approach hopefully fixed the problem and did not hinder 25 other people in the workplace to address one person’s lackadaisical work ethic.