Did you know the office staff meeting is not your place to shine?
99.9% of people attending meetings are ready to leave as soon as they get there. If you find yourself speaking on a topic for longer than a minute to two minutes, you have exceeded the patience of 99.9% people in the room.
If you need to talk to someone for longer than 1-2 minutes, try talking to your pet or your spouse.
I often wonder if some of the office stars have anyone to talk to at home? Is this the only place they get to converse with adults?
Meetings are to provide need-to-know information. The office staff does not need your opinion on everything from hairstyles to tampons during the staff meeting.
The Office Cry Baby
I would like to travel in a time machine to the 1940s and 1950s to get a real picture of office life.
I know there were no copy machines or Keurigs, but were there as many cry babies? Did people know the difference between office and home?
As a woman, I have recognized a huge component which may have been left out of the feminist movement: Office Education for Women
The same women who paint the picture of being 9-5 superwomen, will often quiver chin in meetings and cry in the bathroom or in front of you over the most stupid issues.
There are many women currently in the workforce with the inability to differentiate between work and home. This can manifest itself by talking to their coworkers like they are children, acting like they are the office mother, and crying if they get their feelings hurt (picture your mom after a really bad rumble with the kiddos).
There is not one person in the world who does not have a bad day, but dear God, let’s man up. Embrace the following concepts to enhance the workflow:
- You did not birth anyone or anything here
- You are not married to anyone here
- You do not live here
- You do not own this place
Embracing these office concepts should make it easier to avoid crying in the bathroom when your coworkers tell you to be at meetings on time, please do not interrupt them, and to stop rearranging things in their office space, and any other office issue which may arise.
Working through these common sense principles will also help you manage change in your place of business. Think about it, do you go in any business that looks and operates exactly like it did 25 years ago? Hell No.
Quit arguing and crying about change in the workplace. This is common sense.
I don’t usually consider myself a jealous person, but lately I find myself becoming increasingly envious of the office space others may have in my building.
I am thinking some of my coworkers may have enough space in their office to do cartwheels, or perhaps they have installed one of those tornado simulators in their office spaces.
The reason I have come to this conclusion is for each and every scheduled obligation they come in disheveled, papers askew, winded, and looking as if they have been turned upside down.
One might think this is because they are engaged in an intense project or they have been holed up answering emails or in meetings with fellow colleagues, but….unfortunately…no. I know this because they haven’t answered an email or met a deadline in a month.
They have, in fact, been inside their tornado simulator and/or doing cartwheels.
As the Queen of Common Sense here is best approach to handle the Office Cartwheeler.
- Try your best to avoid giving them any real responsibilities. Face it, they have adult ADHD and it’s just too much trouble.
- If you are in charge of a meeting in which you are expecting the Office Cartwheeler (we will call her “Carol”), here are some tips.
- Wait one minute for Carol and then begin.
- When Carol comes in, do not let her interrupt, just yell over her, and continue on with the agenda. We do not have time to hear about the cartwheels and /or the tornado simulation. We really do have other shit to do and we want to go home at a normal time.
- Stick to the agenda. Remember Carol does not care about agendas. She cares about cartwheels and tornado simulations. Carol occasionally can pop up with a good idea, but unfortunately her lack of follow-through usually nulls this idea and causes the rest of us more work.
Now, I know the Office Preacher (post to follow later) will excuse the Office Cartwheeler by saying things like: “Carol is a really creative thinker and a free spirit.” There are times when the Office Preacher just needs to pray in silence and this would be one of the times for this person to engage that skill. Praise Jesus!