The “You Are Special Disclaimer”



Let’s face it, we all think we are pretty special. If you don’t, you may have some self-esteem issues. See a therapist for this or read a self-help book. You should feel like you are special.

Your momma should have told you that you are indeed special. She should have acted like she loved you more than anyone in the world and you should have believed ,at some point in your life, that you were more beautiful, smarter, faster, cooler, more funny, and all around greater than sliced bread.

However, one of the roles of a good momma, is to give their child the “You Are Special Disclaimer”. In a world now lacking common sense, I am finding some people are not being provided the “You Are Special Disclaimer” before being sent out into the world.

Here is the “You Are Special Disclaimer”:

Dear Child,

To me, your parent, you are the most precious creature in the world. No one can hold a candle to you. Even if you wake up tomorrow with horns growing out of your head, I will still marvel at your beauty. I love to listen to your stories about your special interests in macaroni crafts, Emo bands, etc. There is nothing in the world I would rather do.

Unfortunately, dear child, you are not special to the world. The world does not appreciate, nor care, if you are late to class because you are anxious about your crafting project, or that you are allergic to apples. We can’t ask the entire school not to bring apples because only you and a handful of other children who are special to their parents are allergic to apples. The greater good must prevail.

I must share this special disclaimer with you now because as you grow into adulthood, I do not want people to suffer through your neuroses in the workplace where you think you are the only one in existence. So, I must let you know…you are special to me, but you are not special to the world.



You may start to notice people in your daily life who did not receive the “You Are Special Disclaimer”. These are the people who check out with a full load of groceries in the express lane, break in line at the movie theater, stand in front of short people at sporting events, show up late to work, and do not answer your emails at work because they are “so busy”.

People who failed to receive the disclaimer may say things like:

  • “I am not going to be in class tomorrow. Will I miss anything important?”
  • “I can’t come in and help with that work project one Saturday a year, because my family needs me.”
  • “When are we leaving for lunch? I get shaky when I don’t eat on time.”

Usually these will be stated in the presence of other, non-special, individuals.

Unfortunately, the “You Are Special Disclaimer” needs to be shared early in life, but not too early. After all, you want a child to feel special, but not be annoying to the world.


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