The New Late

clock

We have raised a generation who sincerely believe if something doesn’t happen instantly then it is in fact “late”.

How can we break this trend?

I spoke with a group of college professors recently and the topic of student evaluations of teaching was a discussion topic (more blog posts on this later). The department policy is for the teacher to answer emails within 24-48 hours and most believe they do follow this general rule. However, the professors who followed this policy rather than answering students emails immediately received negative comments on their teaching evaluations by students stating they did not answer emails and/or were not available as needed.

It is worth noting some of these same students are chronically tardy and generally have the “just woke up” look at 2pm.

Also noteworthy is most of the email correspondence professors state they receive are questions already answered with readily available step-by-step assignment instructions or information provided in the syllabus or on the calendar.

Dealing with other human beings is much different from social media and video games. Contrary to popular belief among the young culture, teachers and professors are not all sitting in a circle at the college 24/7 eagerly awaiting their last-minute questions.

New research is showing more and more that we need work-life balance. Being constantly connected to technology is actually bad for your health.

This is a touch of common sense worth sharing.

 

 

Meetings Are Not Your Stage

people-coffee-tea-meeting

Did you know the office staff meeting is not your place to shine?

99.9% of people attending meetings are ready to leave as soon as they get there. If you find yourself speaking on a topic for longer than a minute to two minutes, you have exceeded the patience of 99.9% people in the room.

If you need to talk to someone for longer than 1-2 minutes, try talking to your pet or your spouse.

I often wonder if some of the office stars have anyone to talk to at home? Is this the only place they get to converse with adults?

Meetings are to provide need-to-know information. The office staff does not need your opinion on everything from hairstyles to tampons during the staff meeting.

The Office Cry Baby

 

 

 

Breeding As An Accomplishment

Baby Feet

Today I actually heard someone brag about the amount of children they have birthed. Is breeding an accomplishment? This person was dragging about 5 kids under the age of 5 around the mall. She was talking to an acquaintance and sharing the number of combined children she and her sister have produced.

Free birth control should be taken advantage of. Encourage your friends, family, and neighbors to use it.

We all love babies! Who couldn’t love a baby? They are so cute and tiny.

The problem is it would be rare for person to be able to afford a football team of children. A football team has lots of managers and staff that help care for them. We don’t have the luxury of this in real life. Never is this more obvious than when a haggard mom in sweatpants is trying to shop with 5 children.

I fear for the safety of a herd of children as you drag them around on a shopping trip clearly not knowing if you are coming or going. If you are not going to take advantage of free birth control, you need to invest in a good management staff.

Breeding is not an accomplishment.

 

Learnability

school books

Learnability is not a word you will find in a dictionary, but rather a new word I have coined.

Do you have learnability? The ability to learn. I know you are teachable. Everyone can be taught, but can you learn?

I can teach a topic until I am blue in the face, but are you able to learn?

We are in the midst of an epidemic. There is an absence of learning taking place right now.

Teaching is taking place everywhere. Professors stand in front of classes and talk. They take the student to labs and provide assignments. However, only small amounts of learning actually occurs.

There is an extreme focus on points and grades. The focus needs to shift to concentrate on learning.

Everyday you should ask yourself, “What did I learn new today?”

 

Millennial Expert

converse

I love the millennial generation and generation Z. I really do! They are full of energy, fun, and bright ideas. We all love it!

What we don’t like is how they come out of the womb thinking they are experts. This is not how life works. I have lived a long time and I am still not an expert on some things and neither are you.

Just because your mom thinks you are great, doesn’t really mean you totally are and that you truly know everything there is to know in the world.  See The “You Are Special Disclaimer”

Can the next generation learn to value life experience and actually do some activities to become an expert before assuming the role?

Don’t tell people how to live, vote, and make life choices when you have only read a few books, are barely out of diapers and have not registered yourself for college courses and/or made your own doctor appointments.

I know an older gentleman (age 40) who owns a coffee shop and I honestly don’t know how he kept the doors open until he hired the new generation to tell him how to run the place. God knows they have plastered their opinions of his management style all over social media.

Never mind that while he is away, they can’t make change from the register without putting 2 heads together, the creamery is always empty, and the music is at concert level rather than coffee shop level. Not to mention, they generally act like they are doing me a huge favor by showing up to take my order. The “just rolled out of bed” look is the new “professional attire” look.

I think the poor man deserves a medal of honor for trying to mentor the new generation rather than sending their expert behinds out with the trash.

Daily Prompt

Recycle You

treasure

Do you know how valuable you are?

It concerns me when I see people let others treat them like a cheap soda can rather than a precious treasure. People covet precious treasures and they stomp cheap soda cans.

I have a saying : “I can be by myself, by myself. It is a lot less trouble.”

Some of us have become wrapped up in fairy tales and delusions when it comes to relationships.  We grasp on to people who tell us in their actions, time and time again, they believe we are as disposable as a cheap used soda can.

Do you know what will relieve the stress of this relationship for you? Placing yourself in the recycle bin. We live in a time when a cheap soda can is recycled into wonderful works of art and appears in another location much more appreciated.

If you have someone in your life treating you as disposable, do yourself a favor and exit their life or show them how to exit yours.

It is much less trouble to be alone, alone. You will find your stress level will decrease tremendously and you can actually enjoy your life as the precious treasure you are.

 

 

Don’t Shake The Tree

peaches

Some grandmothers can be full of wisdom.

I did not take advantage of soaking up all the advice my grandmother had to offer and this is a major regret in my life.

I have a distinct memory of playing in the living room of her house, in my own little world, when the phone rang.

I didn’t pay much attention to the very brief conversation before she said the sentence that stopped me in my tracks. She said to the person on the other end of the line, “If you don’t like my peaches, don’t shake my tree.” And then she simply hung up the phone and went on like nothing had happened.

At around the age of 6 years old, I had no clue what had transpired. I think I really believed someone had shook her peach tree and ate a bad peach.

We all need to embrace the peach tree theory. If someone doesn’t like my peaches, I don’t have to go to the ends of the earth to try to provide them with better peaches. They simply need to find a different tree.

And when we find a peach we do not care for, we should not keep shaking the same tree like a gorilla, expecting a different type of peach. We need to find a new tree.

How refreshing to say, “If you don’t like my peaches, don’t shake my tree.” And then just press the red phone button on the iPhone and be done.

 

The Office Cry Baby

crying

Photo: http://www.pexels.com

I would like to travel in a time machine to the 1940s and 1950s to get a real picture of office life.

I know there were no copy machines or Keurigs, but were there as many cry babies? Did people know the difference between office and home?

As a woman, I have recognized a huge component which may have been left out of the feminist movement: Office Education for Women

The same women who paint the picture of being 9-5 superwomen, will often quiver chin in meetings and cry in the bathroom or in front of you over the most stupid issues.

There are many women currently in the workforce with the inability to differentiate between work and home. This can manifest itself by talking to their coworkers like they are children, acting like they are the office mother, and crying if they get their feelings hurt (picture your mom after a really bad rumble with the kiddos).

There is not one person in the world who does not have a bad day, but dear God, let’s man up. Embrace the following concepts to enhance the workflow:

  • You did not birth anyone or anything here
  • You are not married to anyone here
  • You do not live here
  • You do not own this place

Embracing these office concepts should make it easier to avoid crying in the bathroom when your coworkers tell you to be at meetings on time, please do not interrupt them, and to stop rearranging things in their office space, and any other office issue which may arise.

Working through these common sense principles will also help you manage change in your place of business.  Think about it, do you go in any business that looks and operates exactly like it did 25 years ago? Hell No.

Quit arguing and crying about change in the workplace. This is common sense.

 

 

Let’s Wait and See

candlesPnoto: http://www.pexels.com

Last night I attended a concert. The band said, “We have been working on some new music and here is our letter to the world.”

Before even one word fell out of the singer’s mouth, the crowd whipped out their smart phones in the poor, pitiful candle mode and began to sway.

What ever happened to waiting to see? Why assume the song was going to be all doom, gloom, and blah?

Let’s think about the condition of the immediate world of we concert attenders last night. We drove there in our car, no one appeared homeless other than by choice, this event was free, there were drinks, people were smiling and happy. I saw no reason to whine.

Why pre-whine? Let’s wait and see if there is actually anything to whine about. For all you know they were about to sing about sunshine, roses, and unicorns. None of those require swaying and candle mode.

As to what the letter to the world actually said…I will have to wait until the album version. As with 99.9% of all live concerts, I could not understand one word of what they were saying.

 

 

 

 

Rap Videos Vs. Real Life

rapper

Photo: http://www.pexels.com

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta’ (or a gangsta’s lady friend)!

But…I’m not and unfortunately neither are you.

You are also not one of the dancers in the videos. I don’t know if you are in high school, the mom of a teenage daughter, if you live in downtown,  uptown, or the suburbs, but I am 100% sure you did not just step off the set of a rap video.

Let’s get real!  You know you cannot get a single thing done with 3 inch pointed nails painted neon yellow with diamonds on the end trying to balance your body around on high heels wearing leggings in the grocery store. Your husband is probably an accountant, uses a C-pap, and is afraid of guns.

And this applies to people of all colors, so don’t go there! It doesn’t matter if you are purple... no one can wipe their fanny with 3 inch pointed fingernails. It is just not sanitary.

What you can do with those is spread germs, accidentally scratch people, twist your ankle, and thoroughly embarrass yourself.

Quit pretending you are in a video! This is real life. There has yet to be a time I have been in the grocery store, post office, doctor’s office, gas station, mall, or anywhere else where there has suddenly been a casting call for ridiculously overdressed women.  Snoop Dog, Lil’Wayne, Eminen, etc. have yet to swoop in and pick up a new lady friend at any of those places. They have a huge selection wherever they are currently practicing their #ThugLife and it is not at the grocery store.

I love Halloween as much as the next person, but after about the age of 4, my momma stopped letting me go out in public dressed in a costume. Thank God she had common sense!

Office Cartwheels

office space

Photo: http://www.pexels.com

I don’t usually consider myself a jealous person, but lately I find myself becoming increasingly envious of the office space others may have in my building.

I am thinking some of my coworkers may have enough space in their office to do cartwheels, or perhaps they have installed one of those tornado simulators in their office spaces.

The reason I have come to this conclusion is for each and every scheduled obligation they come in disheveled, papers askew, winded, and looking as if they have been turned upside down.

One might think this is because they are engaged in an intense project or they have been holed up answering emails or in meetings with fellow colleagues, but….unfortunately…no. I know this because they haven’t answered an email or met a deadline in a month.

They have, in fact, been inside their tornado simulator and/or doing cartwheels.

As the Queen of Common Sense  here is best approach to handle the Office Cartwheeler.

  1. Try your best to avoid giving them any real responsibilities. Face it, they have adult ADHD and it’s just too much trouble.
  2. If you are in charge of a meeting in which you are expecting the Office Cartwheeler (we will call her “Carol”), here are some tips.
    1. Wait one minute for Carol and then begin.
    2. When  Carol comes in, do not let her interrupt, just yell over her, and continue on with the agenda. We do not have time to hear about the cartwheels and /or the tornado simulation. We really do have other shit to do and we want to go home at a normal time.
    3. Stick to the agenda. Remember Carol does not care about agendas. She cares about cartwheels and tornado simulations. Carol occasionally can pop up with a good idea, but unfortunately her lack of follow-through usually nulls this idea and causes the rest of us more work.

Now, I know the Office Preacher (post to follow later) will excuse the Office Cartwheeler by saying things like: “Carol is a really creative thinker and a free spirit.” There are times when the Office Preacher just needs to pray in silence and this would be one of the times for this person to engage that skill. Praise Jesus!

 

Fear Is Not An Option

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There is probably nothing we do in life that does not involve some degree of risk or chance.

I could slip down getting off the couch going to the fridge and break my leg. I choose to go anyway. I determine in my mind the tea I want in my kitchen outweighs those risks and I go ahead and “Just Do It“!

There are so many times in life where we need to just put on our big girl panties (no thongs) or our adult underwear and decide to just get it done.

Did you know it scared the hell out of me to let my 15-yr-old drive my car? It probably scared the hell out of my mother when she taught me to drive too.

My knees shook and my hands trembled the first time I had to speak in front of people, and the second time, and the third time, until it didn’t anymore.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when I hear people talk about fear from everyday activities. Guess what? You are not special. You are not unique. See  The “You Are Special Disclaimer”.

Everyone has these same fears, but we feel like we have no choice. We do it anyway. We don’t have other options, because we are ordinary.

Our common sense has won the battle over our neuroses and we adult again today because we are adults.

Pussification

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Long before Bruce turned into Caitlin, pussification was occurring. This is nothing new.

A recent example of pussification is when a really hot guy made the statement he needed to wash his hands immediately after he pets a dog. This same person has a tattoo on the inside of his upper arm which read“Pain is Gain”.  Really? After the statement about the hand washing, I have the feeling a little Fido slobber would bring you right to your knees.

Mothers are the ultimate pussifiers. What child needs a pacifier when you can have a lifetime pussifier? Who cares that you are now in college or if you are a 40-yr-old adult? Your doorbell just rang. Your mom just came with a casserole and to rehash how your boss is an asshole. She is going to call him and/or pep up your resume to send out on some other job opportunities. She also needs to make your dental appointment and dust while she is “just in the neighborhood”.

Let’s apply a hefty dose of common sense to prevent pussification of people, regardless of their gender.

And regardless of how tough you think you are, if you have to go wash your hands after you pet a dog…..you just completed the pussification process and you did not have to spend the money , Honey.

 

 

The Amnesiac Politician

lost person

Photo: http://photopin.com/free-photos/lost-person

Have you seen the politician with amnesia? They went to Washington, DC and forgot what they were supposed to be doing there.

A good common sense leadership principle is to not expect other people to do what you are not willing to do yourself.

For instance, if I, as a leader of a rock busting team, thought it would be reasonable for a man to bust 10 rocks a day, I should probably be able to bust that many rocks myself. Perhaps I have never busted a rock in my life. The next best thing may be to ask 20 average rock busters, “How many rocks can you bust a day?” Common sense would tell me not to ask the super rock buster or the slacker rock buster for their results.

Now, as a leader of the rock busters, at any given day and time, I should be willing to go and roll up my sleeves and bust some rocks. I should also have the exact same benefits, money, etc. as  my team of rock busters. This keeps me humble and keeps my head out of the clouds. Because right now, I am representing my team of rock busters in Washington, DC. I am not here to blend in and acculturate.

I still really want to bust rocks, but my team has chosen me to represent them, because I am (hopefully) the smartest rock buster. Surely, my fellow rock busters did not choose me because I am super cute or I can talk fast, or because my parents have a famous last name in our community.

A politician needs to avoid amnesia at all times.

Here are some ways a rock busting politician can avoid amnesia:

  1. Instead of wearing fancy suits, wear a “Rock Buster” T-shirt.
  2. Have the same exact healthcare as the rock busters back home and pay for it out of your salary which is equivalent to that of the rock busters whom you have left to serve for this term, because of love for fellow rock busters.
  3. Unless you are going to give a speech about the rock busters back home, sit down and be quiet. That is the only reason we picked you to go.
  4. Call and check with the larger group of rock busters before you do anything. You are the rock buster puppet. Not the other way around.

 

This is a common sense approach to avoiding developing amnesia in Washington, which is a place in America devoid of common sense and where amnesia has reached a level of pandemic.

Disclaimer: Because I know some people will read this and not have enough common sense to know I am using “rock busting” as an example of how elected officials should truly represent the people (rock-busters) of their states; let me clarify, rock busters are not meant to insinuate lobbyists groups.

 

The “You Are Special Disclaimer”

crayons-coloring-book-coloring-book-159579

Photo: pixabay.com

Let’s face it, we all think we are pretty special. If you don’t, you may have some self-esteem issues. See a therapist for this or read a self-help book. You should feel like you are special.

Your momma should have told you that you are indeed special. She should have acted like she loved you more than anyone in the world and you should have believed ,at some point in your life, that you were more beautiful, smarter, faster, cooler, more funny, and all around greater than sliced bread.

However, one of the roles of a good momma, is to give their child the “You Are Special Disclaimer”. In a world now lacking common sense, I am finding some people are not being provided the “You Are Special Disclaimer” before being sent out into the world.

Here is the “You Are Special Disclaimer”:

Dear Child,

To me, your parent, you are the most precious creature in the world. No one can hold a candle to you. Even if you wake up tomorrow with horns growing out of your head, I will still marvel at your beauty. I love to listen to your stories about your special interests in macaroni crafts, Emo bands, etc. There is nothing in the world I would rather do.

Unfortunately, dear child, you are not special to the world. The world does not appreciate, nor care, if you are late to class because you are anxious about your crafting project, or that you are allergic to apples. We can’t ask the entire school not to bring apples because only you and a handful of other children who are special to their parents are allergic to apples. The greater good must prevail.

I must share this special disclaimer with you now because as you grow into adulthood, I do not want people to suffer through your neuroses in the workplace where you think you are the only one in existence. So, I must let you know…you are special to me, but you are not special to the world.

Love,

Momma

You may start to notice people in your daily life who did not receive the “You Are Special Disclaimer”. These are the people who check out with a full load of groceries in the express lane, break in line at the movie theater, stand in front of short people at sporting events, show up late to work, and do not answer your emails at work because they are “so busy”.

People who failed to receive the disclaimer may say things like:

  • “I am not going to be in class tomorrow. Will I miss anything important?”
  • “I can’t come in and help with that work project one Saturday a year, because my family needs me.”
  • “When are we leaving for lunch? I get shaky when I don’t eat on time.”

Usually these will be stated in the presence of other, non-special, individuals.

Unfortunately, the “You Are Special Disclaimer” needs to be shared early in life, but not too early. After all, you want a child to feel special, but not be annoying to the world.

 

Song Selection Matters

AC_DC

Photo: https://www.last.fm/music/AC%2FDC

Here is a snippet of the lyrics of the AC/DC song, “Shook Me All Night Long“:

She was a fast machine
She kept her motor clean
She was the best damn woman I had ever seen
She had the sightless eyes
Telling me no lies
Knockin’ me out with those American thighs
Taking more than her share
Had me fighting for air
She told me to come but I was already there
‘Cause the walls start shaking
The earth was quaking
My mind was aching
And we were making it and you

Shook me all night long
Yeah you shook me all night long

I’m thinking of having a party and I would like to invite your underage niece or daughter to come dance in a bikini for my friends and family to these lyrics. Sounds crazy right? I would like for you to come along and cheer her on. After all, you don’t want to be uncool and not be supportive. As a matter of fact, I would like for you to put this thing together and keep this in mind, “SEX SALES”. I don’t have anything to sell, but this act needs to be an attention grabber.

If I asked you this, you would probably slap my face or report me to the police. If I told you there was a 16-year-old girl dancing on a stage to this song in a bikini with a room full of 40-50 year old men you would report them to child welfare.

However, we now live in a world devoid of common sense. A world where you are minding your own business at a high school talent show and out pops a young lady performing a stripperesque routine to the lyrics above with batons in an outfit just shy of being a bikini. She is making facial expressions you would not want your daughter or niece to make in a room full of family and friends. Her family and friends did not seem to mind and were in fact heartily cheering her on. Her dear momma had choreographed.

Granddads and gentleman in the audience bowed their heads in an act of respect or perhaps reverence to the working of the baton. I had never attended this event before and I looked at the lady next to me with a shocked expression on my face to which she replied, “Oh, this is mild, at least she has on clothes this year.” While I know she was being sarcastic, I decided this was my cue to exit in case we all were busted for being part of some sort of child sex auction.

Needless to say, gone is the time a father runs from the audience, to cover his baby’s “sightless eyes” (boobs) and protect her dignity. Instead he sits with pride, side-by-side with his wife, and claps as other men ogle the sightless eyes and how fast the tassels shake without becoming tangled.

I love a good AC/DC song as much as the next person, but I had enough common sense to wait until I was in college, away from the prying eyes of my momma, daddy, teachers, family, and friends before even presenting the appearance I could do anything all night long.

So…if you would like it to appear that you too have an ounce of common sense, please look at the song selection and make sure it is both age and event appropriate. While you may not be personally bothered by your partially naked daughter dancing and baton twirling to “She told me to come but I was already there” on the stage of the local high school, the rest of us are.

 

Police, Lies, and Videotape

police

Recently in my community a woman posted some terrible photos of her children’s father in the hospital on Facebook. His mouth was bloodied and he was mumbling. He had a C-collar around his neck to stabilize his movement. She claimed the local police beat him and threw him off a bridge.

This story and images went viral. Many people were saying terrible things about the police. Later the next day the local police chief released a video from the body cam on one of the officers. The story the woman had put on Facebook was totally false. The man literally jumped off a bridge (19ft) onto a rocky embankment, then kept crawling and running into a wooded area near a river. A taser had to be used after he refused to show his hands to police despite repeated requests from the officers to stop and show hands. This incident occurred at night and it was extremely dark underneath the bridge of the interstate highway.

The video goes on to show the police, medics, and fireman caring for this man with kindness and compassion. They were comforting him and assuring him he was going to be ok. They spent time considering ways to minimize further injury to his body while attempting to lift him out of this dark, rocky, wooded area.

The man sustained broken teeth, a lacerated tongue, and a broken femur from the fall. If you could see the terrain he landed on it is amazing he is alive.

People should be very careful in posting accusations such as this. Crying “wolf” and being exposed does not benefit anyone.

There are many ways common sense could have been used in this situation:

1. Don’t put accusations on social media until you know the facts.

2. Don’t believe everything you read on social media or see on the news.

3. Don’t jump off a 19ft bridge in order to escape your outstanding warrants. It is much less costly and better for your health to serve the time.

4. Try to give service professionals the benefit of doubt before labeling all of them as evil. I have had a bad waitress a time or two, but I certainly don’t believe the entire profession is without worth.

Lady Common